January 13, 2014

Golden Globes 2014: Noteworthy Part Deux

 

Amber Heard in trying too hard. Sweetheart, your homage to Angelina will work in ten years. Not now.

Uma Thurman in Medusa and Morticia. It's not awful. Just old news. Not historically old. Last year and the year before that old. Which is the worst kind. The whole mermaid fish tail trains are so inexcusably dull.

Caitlin Fitzgerald in Emilia Wickstead. Oh, sweetie. This is all wrong. We love demure but this powder blue dress looks like something from the homestead. In polyester. The hair not good. The shoes non plus. Seriously.

Paula Patton in Stephane Rolland. omg, I can't make up my mind what I hate more: the half chunk platforms or the tsunami goings on on the dress.

Taylor Schilling in My head lives in a trailor. Kate Moss did slip dresses. When she was fourteen. And fire your visagist. The foundation was way darker than your neck. HD honey. Actually, the dress isn't half bad if you did a chignon and lost those dreadful earrings. And the eye make up.

 

Images courtesy of US mag and Hollywood Reporter

 

No comments: