August 24, 2009

Planet of the fakes, quivers, and pouts

(These insights based on watching reruns of America's Next Top Model and Germany's Next Top Model with Tyra Banks and Heidi Klum, respectively.)

Models are just models – everywhere. They have the uninspired sameness of robots. I think that’s part of the fascination why we like to watch these shows. We can see first-hand, that its true. That, regardless which country they're from, most are shallow and stupid, superficial and self-absorbed. With the rare spark of someone who is actually normal. A candidate who doesn´t cry , like, all the time. Seriously, its a huge bonus if a girl doesn´t whinge and topple like the leaning tower of Pisa if they don´t manage to grab the coolest outfit.

Whats up with that? I mean, they ball if they can´t find their shoes, or if they can´t walk in their shoes, or if they don´t find their mascara, or if its too cold or too hot, if the catwalk is too long, whatever.

The thing that gets me - it seems to work - this crying themselves into the next round. If I were one of the judges, I´d immediately banish anyone who even starts with the chin quiver.

Heidi: So, that last photo shoot didn´t go too well.

candidate: (tears start to well, chin starts to quiver)

candidate: (tears gush out, nose starts to run)

candidate: (shoulders shake)

candidate: (mascara runs)

Heidi: Aren´t you sweet? Here's your picture. You´re in the next round.

Also: is there anyone who can speak about something slightly more substantial than the condition of their hair? Like maybe about world peace? Or the location of the Top Shop?

And that’s why some girls force their boyfriends to watch in the hope they see them as we do – you know, dumb – a hollow shell. Too bad most guys think that's awesome.

And really, I´m not jealous of tall, skinny, young things with perfect skin, hair and teeth. Not at all. I can safely say I am perfectly happy with my appearance.

Really I am.
I swear.

4 comments:

Lily said...

Yeah, me too... Really...

Tatiana Lensky said...

exactly. But its nice to rant sometimes......; )

Pollyanna said...

Um, yah. I'm totally ok with my tummy rolls, pudgey knees and extra chin. NOT! But my ankles are awesome! Weird, but true.

Thanks for following!

Tatiana Lensky said...

hey, my ankles are ok too. Besides, I am working on improving my articulate polyglot-ness and verbal dexterty.....making that my weapon of choice. Superficial attributes are so over-rated anyways.

; )